Rethinking The Lawnmower Beer

The term “Lawnmower Beer” gets a lot of work around this time of year, usually in reference to a beer that’s light on flavour and heavy on hype, such as you might drink for refreshment following a particularly hot and sweaty activity, such as mowing the lawn. The typical characteristics displayed by such a brew are as follows: cold, wet, thirst quenching.

In other words, pretty much like water, except with four or five percent alcohol.

What I’ve never really been able to understand, however, is why the beers usually grouped under the “Lawnmower” banner are either bland or sweet. Where the former is the case, I’m more inclined to have a glass or two of water followed by a beer with real flavour, while in the latter instance, well, I don’t find that sweet drinks of any sort really refresh.

Don’t believe me? Try this test: The next time you’re feeling hot, sweaty and parched, try slaking your thirst with a room temperature cola. My bet is that it won’t work, primarily because sweet drinks tend to be cloying and palate coating unless they’re cold. You don’t get an “Ahhh, that hits the spot” moment of refreshment; you get a phlegmy feeling in the back of your throat.

For a true thirst quenching, refreshing, back-from-the-dead drink, you need something dry, which is why, quite frankly, water is so good at what it does. But if you’re disinclined to reach for good, old H2O, I would suggest grabbing instead a beer that is crisp, dry, honestly thirst quenching and satisfyingly bitter in the finish.

Yes, that’s right, shout it from the rooftops: The new Lawnmower Beer is pilsner!

In addition to being in abundant possession of the above characteristics, pilsners have the added advantage of coming in numerous shapes and sizes, so to speak. Which you choose will depend on how cold you want your beer to be, and how much you love bitterness. But before we get to all that, a bit of background.

There are basically three kinds of pilsner, excluding run-of-the-mill lagers that insist on identifying themselves with this otherwise noble designation: Czech style, German style, and Continental style. The first, typified by such brands as Pilsner Urquell, the original pilsner, as well as Toronto’s King Pilsner, has a malty, slightly caramelly body and strong though not emphatic bitterness. The second, the German style, typified by the great Jever Pilsner and Victory Brewing’s Prima Pils, boasts a much lighter, restrained maltiness and stronger hop presence. And the last, as characterized by Stella Artois, Beck’s, St. Pauli Girl et al, has a balanced profile of hop and malt, or bitter and sweet, that veers none too strongly in either direction.

If you like very cold, almost frozen beer, then stock your fridge this summer with Continental lagers, since hoppy bitterness can turn slightly biting when the beer is consumed too cold. If your tastes run more towards dryly crisp, bitter brews, then grab some German pilsners. And if you want a beer that sacrifices a bit of pure refreshment for considerable food-friendliness, look to Czech and Czech-style lagers.

Regardless of which you choose, you’ll be striking a blow for refreshment without the sacrifice of flavour. And along the way helping to break down yet another beer stereotype.